Malcolm

Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom

Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol

Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law

But malcolm has his own way and it's better than them all

Chorus

'cause malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw

And he never has the same problem twice

Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late

Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate

Awful tv programs or a broken elvis plate

Or his fiancee who dumps him because he's gaining weight

Chorus

Aaaaggghhh aaaaggghhh

Problem solved